Rebuild Connection, Trust, and Love in Your Relationship

Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Vancouver, BC

Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples is a helpful and proven way to understand and manage your emotions. It can assist you if you deal with anxiety, depression, trauma, self-criticism, or relationship problems. EFT gives you a clear, personal way to process emotional pain and create lasting change.

At Wellspring Counselling & Psychotherapy Inc., we provide Emotion-Focused Therapy for individuals. This therapy helps clients improve their understanding of emotions, develop self-compassion, and build inner strength.

Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples

What Is Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples?

EFT is a structured, research-backed therapy designed to help couples:

  • Understand negative patterns that lead to conflict and disconnection
  • Recognize and break reactive cycles of blame, criticism, or withdrawal
  • Identify and express underlying emotions and attachment needs
  • Develop a secure, emotionally responsive relationship
  • Deepen trust, intimacy, and emotional safety

EFT helps couples go beyond minor disagreements. Instead of focusing on these surface-level issues, it encourages them to explore the deeper feelings and attachment needs that influence their behaviour.

Who Can Benefit from EFT for Couples?

EFT is highly effective for couples experiencing:

  • Repeated arguments over the same issues
  • Emotional disconnection or feeling like “roommates.”
  • Breakdowns in trust (e.g., after betrayal, infidelity, or past wounds)
  • Difficulty communicating needs, emotions, or concerns
  • One partner withdrawing, shutting down, or becoming defensive
  • Struggles with intimacy and emotional closeness
  • Anxiety about the future of the relationship

EFT benefits couples stuck in negative patterns and long for a deeper emotional connection.

Emotion Focused Therapy EFT

Schedule Your Initial 15-Min Emotion-Focused Therapy Consultation Today

How Emotion-Focused Couples Therapy Works

EFT helps couples clearly understand and communicate their emotional needs. It provides a safe and structured way for them to respond to each other.

1. Identifying Negative Relationship Patterns

The first step is recognizing the cycle that keeps you stuck—whether it’s:

  • One partner pursues while the other withdraws
  • A pattern of blame and defensiveness
  • Emotional disconnection and avoidance

Example:

A typical relationship pattern is “Pursue-Withdraw.” One partner criticizes or makes demands, while the other shuts down or pulls away. This leaves both partners feeling unheard and unvalued, which causes more disconnection.

2. Understanding Core Emotions & Needs

Conflicts often stem from deeper feelings and attachment needs. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples understand the vulnerable emotions that drive their reactions.

Example:

  • A partner who seems angry or demanding might be afraid of being rejected or feeling lonely.
  • A partner who pulls away or avoids conflict may feel stressed or fearful of letting down their spouse.

By uncovering and expressing genuine feelings, partners become more open and responsive to each other.

3. Creating a Secure Emotional Bond

When partners better understand each other’s feelings and needs, they can respond in ways that build trust and closeness.

  • Safely express emotions without blame or criticism
  • Understand each other’s deepest fears and longings
  • Build emotional responsiveness—the ability to be present and supportive when your partner needs you
  • Learn how to repair conflicts and reconnect faster

EFT helps couples build relationships where partners feel valued, heard, and emotionally safe.

EFT Techniques & Interventions

EFT uses structured interventions to help couples communicate effectively and break negative cycles.

  • Softening Defensiveness: Helping partners express vulnerable emotions rather than blaming or shutting down.
  • Attachment-Based Dialogue: Creating conversations that promote emotional safety and closeness.
  • Restructuring Emotional Responses: Teaching partners how to respond in ways that foster security and trust.
  • Repair & Reconnection: Helping couples heal past wounds and restore emotional intimacy.

Why Choose Emotion-Focused Therapy for Your Relationship?

  • Proven Effectiveness: EFT has over 30 years of research supporting its success in strengthening relationships.
  • Addresses the Root Cause: EFT doesn’t just teach communication skills—it heals the emotional wounds that drive conflict.
  • Builds Lasting Change: Unlike short-term fixes, EFT creates profound, lasting shifts in how couples relate to each other.

Book Your 15-Minute Emotion Focused Therapy Consultation Today!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about Emotion-Focused Therapy for Couples

1. What is Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples?

EFT, based on research, helps couples understand their emotions, communicate better, and strengthen their relationships. It focuses on recognizing emotional patterns.

2. How can EFT improve our relationship?

EFT helps couples by identifying and addressing their underlying emotions. This process allows them to break free from negative patterns, build trust, and create a more supportive and loving relationship.

3. Who should consider EFT?

EFT helps couples who have problems like arguing often, feeling emotionally distant, trusting each other, expressing their feelings, or having intimacy issues.

4. What happens during an EFT session?

In therapy, couples work with a trained professional. They explore their feelings, understand their needs, and practice better ways to connect and communicate.

5. How long does EFT take to show results?

The time it takes for couples to see progress varies. Most couples notice meaningful improvements after 8 to 20 sessions, but the exact number of sessions depends on the issues they are working on.

6. Can EFT help if my partner tends to shut down emotionally?

EFT creates a safe space for both partners to share their feelings. It helps those who struggle to express emotions feel heard and understood.

7. Is EFT helpful after betrayal or infidelity?

EFT helps couples heal from pain, rebuild trust, and strengthen their emotional connection after broken trust.

8. What makes EFT different from other types of couples therapy?

EFT examines the emotional needs and attachment patterns that shape couples' interactions instead of focusing on solving problems like traditional methods.

9. Can EFT help us prevent future relationship struggles?

Yes. EFT helps couples fix current problems and gives them the tools to keep their relationship healthy and happy in the long run.

10. How do we start EFT sessions?

You can schedule a session with Wellspring Counselling & Psychotherapy Inc. to build a stronger and more secure relationship.

Clients Say

Testimonials

Mr. Gordon is someone that captures the spirit and the heart of active engagement. He is empathic, genuine and incorporates action and creative problem solving into his practice. I have no hesitation in recommending Mr. Gordon as an effective career and personal counsellor.

NA

I had no experience with therapy and was unsure of the whole process. Alistair made everything very accessible and unintimidating. It was clear that he puts quite a lot of effort and preparation into every session. I'm so glad that I decided to do this, and could not have asked for a better person to help me with this. I would highly recommend Alistair to anyone who has ever thought that they might benefit from talking to a professional.

EH

I am a young professional which for a long time now, has struggled with anxiety, insecurity, and difficulty in finding effective life coping mechanisms. Alistair was referred to me by a friend and upon the first meeting, I found Alistair to be empathetic, compassionate and intuitive. I have now been seeing Alistair regularly for 6 months and through that time my anxiety has significantly decreased, I have found effective methods of dealing with stress, found support dealing with identity issues, as well as finding inner strength to get through a tough break up. Alistair again and again, went the extra mile -thank you Alistair for your candor, openness and a safe space to get support. Thank you for playing such a large role in keeping me healthy and positive.

KL

I have been working with Alistair Gordon as my counsellor at Wellspring for almost 6 months now and cannot begin to tell you how far I have come with his help. I have tried working with other counsellors and therapists in the past but never really found one that clicked for me. I always felt judged, unsupported, and rushed at those appointments until I booked my first appointment with Wellspring and with Allistair. To anyone on the fence about booking an appointment or engaging in therapy: if you are willing to do the work, you couldn't ask for a better partner in your healing journey.

ER

When I decided to find a counsellor, I tried to find someone that I could relate to, someone that is like-minded and down-to-earth and with Alistair I really found the right person. He uses an integrative approach, showed me techniques to relax and get aware of my emotions, and helped me see things in a new perspective. Of course this is an ongoing process but I enjoy meeting and working with Alistair every time. The downtown office is a very neutral place - not too intimate, not too clinical - which is helpful to overcome apprehension, especially the first couple of times. What I find remarkable is that Alistair almost always knows what I'm trying to say, even if I can't put it into words. Working with Alistair helped me a lot and it was the right decision to put my trust in him.

MA

Alistair really cares about you the person, and I could really feel him trying to tackle my challenges. He was also very available for off-session contact via text and email. I think he did a great job with confronting me where I needed it. Alistair always could remember the important peoples' names in my personal life, which really helped with talking about my problems. I really felt like I was talking to a friend.

MS

Alistair is an awesome counsellor. He has been so helpful in working with me through some tough times in my life. He's always been available to chat with me in-between sessions. I'd recommend Alistair to anyone - he's really the ideal counsellor in my view.

JG

I enjoy how sessions are collaborative where I can take the lead for the direction of what we talk about, and at the same time I know that Alistair will offer helpful guidance and insight along the way. I also like how we focus on the future instead of just the past. I find this to be empowering and helpful to move forward in life.

RM

Alistair is an awesome counsellor. He has been so helpful in working with me through some tough times in my life. He's always been available to chat with me in-between sessions. I'd recommend Alistair to anyone - he's really the ideal counsellor in my view.

JG

I have always felt very comfortable with Alistair. He has a calming presence, and you can tell he cares about being the best counsellor for you. He helps you with all aspects of your concern, and is always able to help me find a solution to the problem I'm having.

SD

Alistair is an exceptionally talented counsellor and has always demonstrated strong ethics, great compassion, wisdom and respect for others. I highly recommend him as a counselling practitioner.

MB

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Book a Therapy Session for EFT for Couples with Wellspring Counselling

Your relationship deserves security, closeness, and emotional connection. EFT can help you get there.

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🔹 Serving Couples Across British Columbia & Canada (where permitted)

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