Welcome to the Wonderful and Wild Years of the Toddler
The toddler years are when young children experience wonder, make important discoveries, and sometimes feel strong emotions. During this time, children experience significant emotional growth. As parents, it’s essential to understand our toddlers’ developing minds and provide them with unconditional love.
This will help us guide them through both the good and challenging times. By being patient, staying connected, and learning from experts like Dr. Dan Siegel, Dr. Gordon Neufeld, Dr. Deborah MacNamara, and Dr. Harvey Karp, we can help empower our toddlers to understand their feelings and become more resilient.
Table of Contents
Understanding Your Toddler's Developing Brain
Please memorize the following: Toddlers feel very strongly and struggle to control their actions. Because their brains are still developing, their emotions can easily overwhelm them.
It’s like a storm inside them! As parents, it’s essential to help them by creating a safe and loving environment where they can express their strong feelings.
Our love and acceptance of them shape how they see themselves, so it’s essential to respond to them positively. This influences how they will feel about themselves in the future.
Connection & Attunement: The Cornerstone of Guidance
Having a solid and loving connection with your child is crucial for their emotional development. This connection makes your toddler feel understood and secure, which gives them the confidence to explore their world. Here’s how to strengthen this bond:
- Play!: Try to get on their level and join their imaginative world. Show them love and understanding.
- Touch: Hugging, giving back rubs, and cuddling provide reassurance. Validate them.
- Feelings: “You’re so mad that your tower fell!”
- Listen & Reflect: “You wish we could go to the park now.”
You can support others through tough times because they trust and feel safe with you due to your strong connection.
Managing Big Emotions: Weathering the Storms
Even with good intentions, toddlers can have tantrums. They’re not trying to be difficult – they need your help because their young brains get overwhelmed. Here are in-the-moment strategies:
- Stay Calm: Remember to stay calm and take deep breaths if needed.
- Validate & Empathize: “You’re so frustrated the ball rolled away. That would make me feel upset, too!”
- Help Them Feel Felt: “Let’s take a break for a cuddle. Big feelings can be scary.”
- Redirection: Once calmer, offer options (“Let’s read or draw “) or find something engaging (a toy, silly song, etc.).
Choice & 'Feeding the Meter': Empowering Little Decision-Makers
Toddlers like to be in control. When they can make choices, they feel capable and are less likely to have tantrums.
- Provide Options: “Do you want the blue or red cup?”
- “Feed the Meter”: Let them make easy choices throughout the day (which snack, what to wear, etc.).
- Praise Their Power: “Wow, you’re so strong for carrying those blocks!”
Lessons After the Storm
After the tantrum passes, it’s time to reconnect. Please hug them, offer comfort, and gently talk about what happened when they’re ready. Instead of punishment, focus on teaching problem-solving and coping skills for next time.
When to Seek Professional Support
Parenting can be hard, but it gets easier when you boost your parenting skills. Consider online counselling BC or Vancouver-based therapy if you notice:
- Excessive, disruptive tantrums
- Signs of anxiety or withdrawal
- Developmental delays
- Trouble sleeping or eating
- Aggression towards others
- Your own stress feels overwhelming
- Despite these strategies, tantrums are significantly impacting daily life.
Wellspring Counselling BC: Your Partner in Parenting
At Wellspring Counselling BC, we understand the challenges and joys of parenting young children. Our Vancouver therapists and online counsellors across BC offer services, including EMDR therapy, to support you and your child. We’re here to help you navigate this exciting phase with compassion, knowledge, and personalized strategies.
Embracing the Journey of Growth
Parenting a toddler is an adventure for you both! By fostering connection, understanding big emotions, and showering your child with unconditional love, you lay the groundwork for a happy, resilient future. For more support and guidance on your journey, Wellspring Counselling BC is here for you. Book your 10-minute free consultation to take the first step toward a brighter tomorrow.
