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Shame & Guilt Counselling in Burnaby, BC

When a person experiences persistent shame and guilt, it is often not directly tied to a specific event but stems from an underlying and ongoing sense. Individuals who have undergone past trauma may develop what is termed as “core shame.” As a result, they may be more prone to feeling guilty about current situations and internalizing perceived accusations from others.

We also offer in-person therapy options for Burnaby residents, including EMDR Therapy.

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Feeling guilty usually relates to a specific behavior, while feeling ashamed is more about feeling bad about ourselves. Guilt can lead to remorse and the possibility of making things right, while shame often involves feeling inherently wrong with no hope of fixing it. Both guilt and shame can serve different purposes, but they affect individuals differently.

During early experiences, it is essential in counseling to develop a healthy sense of self separate from internalized criticism or negativity, addressing feelings of shame and guilt.

This process may include experientially learning:

Understand how the brain and mind function to comprehend better your emotions and behaviors, particularly feelings of shame and guilt.
What exactly is stress, and how can we maintain emotional balance when feelings of guilt and shame arise?
Recognizing hidden childhood thoughts and beliefs that cause unhelpful guilt and shame can be challenging. Shame and guilt are often linked with other emotions, such as anger and sadness.
Developing new, more flexible, positive beliefs about yourself, others, and the world is critical. These beliefs have a significant impact on your automatic interpretations and expectations.

In counseling for shame and guilt, you will discover how to communicate and connect with others and yourself effectively. The emphasis will be on honoring emotional boundaries and fostering self-agency and autonomy to cultivate healthier connections and self-validation. Addressing anger and sadness, which are closely linked to shame and guilt, will involve promoting constructive expression.
Remember to identify, comprehend, and manage various emotions associated with ‘guilt’ and ‘shame,’ and address the related needs for safety and connection.
Our counseling equips you with practical principles that can be applied to your daily life, empowering you to navigate life’s challenges with confidence. This empowerment fosters greater control and independence, allowing you to effectively manage or diminish feelings of guilt and shame when unwarranted. You will learn to confront life’s challenges with increased peace of mind and success.

In both in-person and online settings, our counseling services in Burnaby offer a secure environment for open discussion without any concern of judgment or criticism. We specialize in helping you comprehend the root causes of your emotions, identify patterns or underlying issues, and craft effective strategies to address them.

Ready to take the first step towards a healthier emotional state? Book an appointment with us today.

Schedule Your Initial 10-Min Call with One of Our Counsellors in Burnaby Today

What is Shame?

Feeling ashamed is a common experience that can result from various reasons, big or small. It may make you feel inadequate, leading to sadness, worry, or avoidance of social situations. Even after the upsetting event has passed, shame can linger. It often involves feeling as though others are harshly judging you.

On a deeper level, shame can be linked to a person’s core beliefs about themselves or the world. It can also be rooted in past experiences, such as being shamed or excluded by family or peers.

Signs and symptoms of shame:

Avoiding eye contact
Feeling embarrassed or unworthy of attention
Having a negative self-image
Struggling to connect with others
Feeling isolated and disconnected from the world around you

What is Guilt?

Guilt is similar to shame but has its distinct characteristics. It is the feeling of remorse or regret over an action or decision perceived as morally wrong.

Guilt often arises from making a mistake, resulting in regret, self-doubt, and distress. Unlike shame, guilt is primarily based on our internal judgment rather than external criticism from others.

Signs and symptoms of guilt:

Struggling to forgive yourself
Feeling responsible for negative events
Over-apologizing or self-blaming
Avoiding reminders of your mistake
Inability to enjoy success due to guilt

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Clients Say

Testimonials

Mr. Gordon is someone that captures the spirit and the heart of active engagement. He is empathic, genuine and incorporates action and creative problem solving into his practice. I have no hesitation in recommending Mr. Gordon as an effective career and personal counsellor.

NA

I had no experience with therapy and was unsure of the whole process. Alistair made everything very accessible and unintimidating. It was clear that he puts quite a lot of effort and preparation into every session. I'm so glad that I decided to do this, and could not have asked for a better person to help me with this. I would highly recommend Alistair to anyone who has ever thought that they might benefit from talking to a professional.

EH

I am a young professional which for a long time now, has struggled with anxiety, insecurity, and difficulty in finding effective life coping mechanisms. Alistair was referred to me by a friend and upon the first meeting, I found Alistair to be empathetic, compassionate and intuitive. I have now been seeing Alistair regularly for 6 months and through that time my anxiety has significantly decreased, I have found effective methods of dealing with stress, found support dealing with identity issues, as well as finding inner strength to get through a tough break up. Alistair again and again, went the extra mile -thank you Alistair for your candor, openness and a safe space to get support. Thank you for playing such a large role in keeping me healthy and positive.

KL

I have been working with Alistair Gordon as my counsellor at Wellspring for almost 6 months now and cannot begin to tell you how far I have come with his help. I have tried working with other counsellors and therapists in the past but never really found one that clicked for me. I always felt judged, unsupported, and rushed at those appointments until I booked my first appointment with Wellspring and with Allistair. To anyone on the fence about booking an appointment or engaging in therapy: if you are willing to do the work, you couldn't ask for a better partner in your healing journey.

ER

When I decided to find a counsellor, I tried to find someone that I could relate to, someone that is like-minded and down-to-earth and with Alistair I really found the right person. He uses an integrative approach, showed me techniques to relax and get aware of my emotions, and helped me see things in a new perspective. Of course this is an ongoing process but I enjoy meeting and working with Alistair every time. The downtown office is a very neutral place - not too intimate, not too clinical - which is helpful to overcome apprehension, especially the first couple of times. What I find remarkable is that Alistair almost always knows what I'm trying to say, even if I can't put it into words. Working with Alistair helped me a lot and it was the right decision to put my trust in him.

MA

Alistair really cares about you the person, and I could really feel him trying to tackle my challenges. He was also very available for off-session contact via text and email. I think he did a great job with confronting me where I needed it. Alistair always could remember the important peoples' names in my personal life, which really helped with talking about my problems. I really felt like I was talking to a friend.

MS

Alistair is an awesome counsellor. He has been so helpful in working with me through some tough times in my life. He's always been available to chat with me in-between sessions. I'd recommend Alistair to anyone - he's really the ideal counsellor in my view.

JG

I enjoy how sessions are collaborative where I can take the lead for the direction of what we talk about, and at the same time I know that Alistair will offer helpful guidance and insight along the way. I also like how we focus on the future instead of just the past. I find this to be empowering and helpful to move forward in life.

RM

Alistair is an awesome counsellor. He has been so helpful in working with me through some tough times in my life. He's always been available to chat with me in-between sessions. I'd recommend Alistair to anyone - he's really the ideal counsellor in my view.

JG

I have always felt very comfortable with Alistair. He has a calming presence, and you can tell he cares about being the best counsellor for you. He helps you with all aspects of your concern, and is always able to help me find a solution to the problem I'm having.

SD

Alistair is an exceptionally talented counsellor and has always demonstrated strong ethics, great compassion, wisdom and respect for others. I highly recommend him as a counselling practitioner.

MB

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Heal with Wellspring Shame & Guilt Counselling in Burnaby, BC

At Wellspring Counselling, our experienced therapists and counselors in Burnaby can assist you in understanding the causes of guilt and shame, how they impact your behavior, and methods for managing these emotions.

Our goal is to provide a secure and non-judgmental space where you can communicate openly. With our support, you can develop healthier coping mechanisms and find the courage to move forward.

Contact us today by visiting our contact page or booking an appointment here.