Resilience of Mind
This section is informed in part by the work of psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson, particularly his book Hardwiring Happiness, which brings together research and practical ideas concerning well-being, emotional learning, and the cultivation of inner psychological resources.
Hanson organizes many beneficial experiences around three broad needs: safety, satisfaction, and connection. This program adds a fourth domain: meaning. Together, these four domains provide a practical framework for understanding experiences that can support resilience, confidence, emotional balance, and peace of mind.
The purpose of this section is to help you strengthen the psychological resources that allow you to respond to life with greater flexibility rather than being governed primarily by automatic alarm, frustration, disconnection, or hopelessness.
These resources are particularly important before exploring difficult beliefs and memories. When distress becomes overwhelming, it can interfere with reflection, perspective-taking, emotional processing, and the ability to benefit from psychological interventions. Developing resilience does not require eliminating all stress or remaining calm at all times. Instead, it involves increasing your ability to remain present, recover from distress, and access supportive inner and external resources.
Negativity Bias and Generalization
The brain is designed to notice information that may be important for survival. Threatening, painful, or unpleasant experiences can therefore capture attention quickly and remain psychologically influential.
This tendency is sometimes described as the negativity bias. Negative information is not always processed more strongly than positive information, and the degree of bias varies across people and situations. Nevertheless, potential threats often receive rapid attention because overlooking danger can carry serious consequences.
The mind also generalizes from previous experience. When something in the present resembles an earlier danger, disappointment, rejection, or loss, the nervous system may respond as though the current situation is more similar to the past than it actually is.
Generalization is not inherently harmful. It allows us to learn from experience and apply knowledge to new situations. However, it can become maladaptive when superficial similarities activate expectations and emotional responses that do not accurately reflect present reality.
For example, criticism from one person may activate memories of earlier humiliation. A delayed message may evoke expectations of rejection. An unfamiliar physical sensation may be interpreted as evidence of danger because it resembles a sensation experienced during an earlier frightening event.
These reactions may occur before we have consciously evaluated the situation.
Experiences that are repeated, emotionally significant, or attended to over time can influence implicit expectations about ourselves, other people, and the world. If attention is repeatedly captured by what is threatening, missing, or wrong, our background emotional state may gradually become organized around danger, inadequacy, dissatisfaction, or disconnection.
One purpose of this section is to broaden what the mind notices and retains. This does not mean ignoring danger, denying suffering, or forcing positive thinking. It means deliberately including experiences of safety, satisfaction, connection, and meaning that may otherwise pass too quickly to have much emotional impact.
Beneficial experiences may be:
- Already present in your life
- Recalled from the past
- Imagined as a realistic possibility
- Created through a new action
- Received through a relationship
- Developed through practice
- Recognized within an otherwise difficult situation
The aim is not to replace reality with a positive fantasy. The aim is to help accurate and beneficial information become part of how you experience yourself and the world.
Four Core Domains of Need
For the purposes of this program, beneficial experiences are organized into four broad domains:
Safety
Safety includes experiences of protection, stability, strength, agency, calmness, and freedom from immediate danger.
Satisfaction
Satisfaction includes experiences of gratitude, accomplishment, enjoyment, fulfilment, contentment, and having enough.
Connection
Connection includes experiences of belonging, care, empathy, intimacy, acceptance, compassion, reciprocity, and love.
Meaning
Meaning includes experiences of purpose, inspiration, direction, contribution, vitality, growth, and connection to something larger than immediate concerns.
These domains are not completely separate. A supportive relationship may create safety, connection, satisfaction, and meaning simultaneously. Completing a difficult task may provide accomplishment, confidence, security, and direction.
These categories are intended to help you identify what may be missing or what could be strengthened. They should not be treated as a complete scientific classification of human needs.
Responsive and Reactive States
People move continually between more responsive and more reactive states. These are not fixed personality types or two entirely separate neurological modes.
A responsive state involves enough regulation and psychological space to notice what is happening, consider context, and choose how to act. Depending on the need involved, a responsive state may include:
- Calmness, steadiness, or confidence
- Gratitude, enjoyment, or contentment
- Care, belonging, or compassion
- Motivation, inspiration, or direction
A reactive state arises when protective systems become more dominant. It may include:
- Fear, alarm, or defensiveness when safety feels threatened
- Frustration, craving, disappointment, or loss when satisfaction feels absent
- Rejection, loneliness, resentment, or heartache when connection feels threatened
- Emptiness, discouragement, or lack of motivation when meaning feels absent
Reactive states are not failures. They are attempts by the mind and body to respond to a perceived problem. The difficulty arises when the response is disproportionate, based primarily on past learning, or no longer helpful in the present situation.
Resilience involves becoming better able to:
- Recognize when you are becoming reactive
- Identify the need beneath the reaction
- Regulate your level of activation
- Determine what is happening in the present
- Access supportive internal and external resources
- Choose a proportionate and constructive response
- Recover after a difficult experience
Taking in the Positive
The first place to start to cultivate these needs is by getting practice of generally taking in the positive. Thus, the exercises in this subsection involve cultivating the implicit background awareness of that which is perceived as “positive”. Remember to use the imprinting exercises below to embody what we go over. This is an “express” version of the imprinting exercises tailored for this subsection. Note that the “reconsolidate” part of the imprinting exercises will be introduced in the “Cultivating Core Needs” section of this chapter. Here is a template you can use to help foster implicit memory formation after each of the tools in this section:
Self-Directed Neuroplasticity
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Recent
Let’s start off with recent positive stimuli. Think of something recent that was positive. It could be simply seeing a beautiful landscape, or seeing the smile or gratitude of another. When you have thought of whichever one you would like to do, stay with it for 10 seconds and complete the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise. Do the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise for each category of need.
Conditions
Now let’s look at any conditions that meets your needs. This could be having food in the fridge, or a roof over your head, or even fresh air. When you have thought whichever one you would like to do, stay with it for 10 seconds and complete the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise. Do the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise for each category of need.
Qualities
Qualities are also a category of positive stimuli that we can take in and cultivate implicit memory of. What are some qualities that you have demonstrated that you value and would like more of? Some examples of qualities may be humour, sincerity, generosity, compassion, efficacy, strength, etc. Even if there are exceptions or other baggage associated with it, just focus on the positive aspect of the experience and make it embodied through the imprinting exercise. When you have thought whichever one you would like to do, stay with it for 10 seconds and complete the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise. Do the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise for each category of need.
Present
The next category of positive stimuli pertains to the immediate present. Notice something in the immediate environment through your 5 senses or certain knowing. There may be other negative associations or “baggage”, but just gently and gradually shift your attention back to the focus of the exercise. This may be a constant process, so be gentle and gradual in shifting your attention back
Past
This domain of positive stimuli relates to past experience. What are some past experiences where you felt happy, connected, safe, or inspired? When you have thought whichever one you would like to do, stay with it for 10 seconds and complete the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise. Do the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise for each category of need.
Future
In the domain of potential future positive stimuli, consider any anticipated or possible positive experiences where you will be safe, connected, satisfied, or inspired.When you have thought whichever one you would like to do, stay with it for 10 seconds and complete the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise. Do the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise for each category of need.
Sharing with Others
Regarding generosity and reciprocity, either create or recall an experience where you shared something with another in which it helped you feel safe, connected, satisfied, or inspired. When you have thought whichever one you would like to do, stay with it for 10 seconds and complete the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise. Do the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise for each category of need.
Finding Good in the Bad
Even in negative experiences there is some good – it can be a learning experience for patience or forgiveness. When you have thought whichever one you would like to do, stay with it for 10 seconds and complete the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise.
Caring about Others
For the domain of caring for others, who or what do you feel caring toward? Or, recall a time where you did. If this is too difficult, imagine the felt sense of what this might even feel like. When you have thought whichever one you would like to do, stay with it for 10 seconds and complete the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise..
Good Facts
What are some facts you are aware of that give you a feeling of safety, satisfaction, connection, or that is meaningful to you? Do the following exercise for each category of need. When you have thought whichever one you would like to do, stay with it for 10 seconds and complete the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise.
Things that Could be True
What are some possible things that could be true which helps you feel safe, connected, satisfied, or inspired. Do the self-directed neuroplasticity exercise for each category of need.
Things You Want to Be True
What are some positive things you want to be true in which you will be and feel safe, connected, satisfied, or inspired. Do the following exercise for each category of need. When you have thought of the first one you would like to cultivate, stay with it, and:
Cultivating Core Needs
We come now to cultivating the core needs and this involves identifying sub-components of the various needs to better target which facets of the needs are currently a deficit so you can cultivate this specific aspect of the core need. The key feature of cultivating core needs is to do this when you are feeling the antithesis of the need. This is in contrast to solely taking in the positive. For example, when you are experiencing a feeling of “weakness”, an exercise in this section can help to reconsolidate the implicit memory if this implicit memory is the cause of the internal simulation of “weakness”.
However, in the spirit of ‘taking in the positive’ cultivating the core needs can also help as a stand alone exercise even when you are not experiencing the antithesis of the need. It is important to remember that this only provides greater resilience and does not change the internal simulation creating the inner turmoil. It helps build up resilience, though. For core needs experiences that actually involve implicit memory “reconsolidation”, this is a great foundational practice for when more complex processing is needed in future sections which involves dynamic exploration and multiple methods of fostering perspective in addition to implicit memory reconsolidation.
For exercises pertaining to cultivating the core needs, remember, imagine, or create an experience for the positive needs below. The focus should be on embodying the positive experience because the purpose of this chapter is to increase your inner psychological resources and resilience. Focus on doing one sub-category (e.g., strength) per day at least 3 times throughout the day for 30 secs each time. Here is a template you can utilize for each of the tools to facilitate implicit memory formation:
Self-Directed Neuroplasticity
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Safety
Strength
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt a sense of inner strength in the past, or imagine what it might feel like to have felt a sense of strength.
You may also be aware of a time you felt physical strength instead of or to complement inner strength. Be aware of the felt sense of this strength in your body and any feelings of greater safety, Stay with this experience for at least 10 seconds. Be aware of your body in the present flowing moment and the movement while you feel and experience this.
Agency
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt a strong sense of self in the past, or imagine what it might feel like to have felt a sense of agency and empowerment.
Protection
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt protected in the past or currently, or imagine what it might feel like to have felt a protection and the calmness that is experience with feeling protected.
Satisfaction
Gratitude
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt gratitude in the past or currently, or imagine what it might feel like to have felt a sense of gratitude.
Accomplishment
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt a sense of accomplishment in the past, or imagine what it might feel like to have felt a sense of accomplishment.
Contentment & Fulfillment
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt a sense of calm satisfaction in the past or imagine what it might feel like to have felt a sense of calm contentment or excited satisfaction. Notice the stillness or excitement as you stay with this sense of fulfillment.
Connection
Empathy
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt a sense of calm satisfaction in the past or imagine what it might feel like to have felt a sense of calm contentment and satisfaction. Notice the stillness as you stay with this sense of calm fulfillment.
Loved
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt a sense of being loved or cared for in the past or creatively imagine the felt sense of what it might feel like.
Belonging
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt a sense of belonging in the past or imagine the felt sense of belonging.
Meaning
Inspiration
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt inspired in the past or creatively imagine the felt sense of what it might feel like.
Purpose
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt a sense of purpose in the past or creatively imagine the felt sense of what it might feel like to feel purpose.
Big Picture
Take a slow and relaxing deep breath and exhale slowly and fully as much as you can while staying relaxed. Allow your muscles to loosen and release as you exhale. Slowly, gradually, and lightly bring your awareness to the present and at the same time become aware of when you have felt, experienced, or seen the big picture, or creatively imagine the felt sense of what it might feel like to see and experience a big picture perspective of life and your situation.